Summer Travels

[Summer 2010, Redwood Mountains, California, H&M dress, H&M bikini, Havaiana flip flops]

Summer travel season is upon us.

I just returned from Chicago. I'm hoping to go camping and cottaging in the next few weeks. I'm planning a sojourn in New York for the last weekend in May (my birthday!).

I'll be gone for all of June and July, (hopefully) driving across the US to California where I'll be living on my yogic mountain working and studying and training for the summer.

Clearly, I love travel. But it can also be an emotionally trying process. An amazing book that I recently finished had a quote that put this into perspective:

"I didn’t want them to grow when I was away, it broke my heart."

So sad and so true. The problem with travel, for all of its glory and beauty is that you secretly hope that nothing left behind ever changes. What a selfish and horrible desire: for all around you to remain in a constant state, not growing or maturing, while you seek new adventure and growth and maturity.

Returning from travel is always so hard for this very reason. You return to friends who are different. They are in new relationships and have formed new bonds and made new connections and even though they are still the same and even though you are still the same it is all different. Chances are your home is no longer and your job is no longer and your past love is no longer and it's hard to return to little that you new before.

Perhaps this feeling will be different this year. In years past when I have taken my two-month escapes, they have been just that - escapes (usually from an ending love). Perhaps this year - leaving single and coming back single, leaving and returning to the same home and the same amazing roomie - will be an easier process. Still, I can't help being sad for all that I will miss here in the city this summer, despite how much I will be gaining and experiencing in the places that I'll be.

When I'm here I want to be there and when I'm there I want to be here.